What I look for in a partner:
- Blue Eyes
- White Dragon
- KEVIN: Hello?
- ADAM: Kevin? Hey, it's Adam Sandler.
- KEVIN: Hey, man! How are you?
- ADAM: Good! Good. Big King of Queens fan, buddy! You're funny, man!
- KEVIN: Thanks! Aw, that's nice to hear.
- ADAM: Yeah, I love your comedy. So funny. Real good, limber, fat stuff.
- KEVIN: What?
- ADAM: Nothing. Anyway, I was talking to the other Bad Boys of SNL--
- KEVIN: --wait, the what?
- ADAM: The Bad Boys of SNL. You know, Schneider, Spade, Rock.
- KEVIN: Oh yeah, that was the name of a VHS tape, right?
- ADAM: Yeah, yeah. It had all of us. Our classic skits. Farley too.
- KEVIN: Oh man, Farley, what a talent.
- ADAM: I know, bud. So limber and also fat.
- KEVIN: What?
- ADAM: Nothing. Listen, you wanna do a movie with me? We play guys who pretend to be gay or something. The guys and I were talking. It's time for a new limber fatman. Whaddaya say, Chris?
- KEVIN: My name is Kevin.
- ADAM: No, totally, Farls.
- KEVIN: Dude, what? My name is KEVIN JAMES.
- ADAM: Sure, sure. Listen, do you want to make 200 million dollars in the next 10 years?
- KEVIN: Um, I think so!? What's the catch?
- ADAM: You have to let me and the guys call you Chris and you have to pal around with all of us in our mansions like we've all been friends since the late 80s.
- KEVIN: Man, I don't know what's sadder: that request, or the fact that I am 100% in.
- ADAM: It's a tie, Chris. Just like the red bowtie you wore in the Chippendales sketch.
- KEVIN: Man...
- ADAM: Shabbidydoo!
- 30 notes - 7 May 2013





